Hai guys! :D
...hmm. Have I done an update blog recently? Just one where I sit and type whatever comes to mind? I'm not sure...I can't remember :,)
Let's just say I haven't so I can say..
"It's been a while!" x,D
I've been having quite a few negative thoughts lately, so I can't really say this blog is going to be very upbeat and happy...I just kinda feel the need to vent somehow so...let's make a blog to publicly announce my deep feelings! That's a good idea! ...tch!
Well, it doesn't matter because I'muh do it anyway!
So recently...I've been contemplating the word "friend." I mean, what is a friend really?
Everyone says a friend is someone who you can have fun with, laugh with, share things with, be yourself with, right? But...why?
I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense...but how do you know if you really have a friend? I guess you never do.
This sounds silly because I know I have some really good friends that I can spend my time with and have loads of fun with...but will it last? I mean...
Okay. Think about all the people you've known in your life.
Then think about how many of those people you became friends with.
Now think about how many of those friends you still speak with.
...I bet you can't say all of them, right?
And it's such a horrible feeling. I've met people that I've loved so much as friends. But now I don't even talk to them anymore.
So I always have this nagging feeling at the back of my mind telling me that sooner or later, this person is going to leave me and not want to be my friend anymore.
I think this may be one of the reasons I'm overly-friendly with people I have just met. Because I want them to like me and I want to make a good impression.
But then I may say stuff or do stuff that I think about later and say..
"Okay. What the hell was that?! Why did I say that?"
Then I feel like a complete idiot.
I've done this quite a lot recently and I want to take it back and tell that person I didn't mean it...but then what if they hate me and don't want to speak to me anymore?
That's what I'm afraid of. It's terrifying... ;-;
Things like this as well is even harder with online friendships.
I mean, in a way online is easier because...well, I don't know why. It just feels easier :,) but then I still say stuff that at a later date, I want to take back but I'm scared to because I don't want to lose a friend.
I mean, I've lost a couple of amazing friends I've met over the internet. Both lost for different reasons I don't really want to explain...but it hurts. It really fucking hurts. Like, I used to be so close to these people. Now I don't speak to them.
Why does everything have to be so complicated?!
And this is relating to one of the reasons I lost one of the friends I mentioned above...but internet relationships.
"Yea! Internet relationships can work if both people make the effort!"
"Internet relationships are so romantic!"
"Sure you don't see each other a lot...but that makes the time when you do see each other even more special!"
Excuse me while I laugh. I mean, what a load of CRAP!
They don't work! They just don't.
Friendships work, yes. But not an actual relationship.
I've tried this...a couple of times. And both times have ended in failure.
You'd think I'd fucking learn, right? I mean...here I am now trying to fight off the fact I'm starting to like someone again I know over the internet but I just can't let myself feel that way because if I lost this person as a friend...I don't know what I'd do!
It's hard and beyond complicated to feel this way. And I'm tired of it. But at the same time, you're thinking..
"This person could like me, right?"
No. NO! Because they just couldn't. And I know that distance is just a number...but it would come at a price if it didn't work; a friend.
I hate this. I'm really trying so hard but it's that little thing in the back of your mind that keeps you hanging on to the tiniest bit of hope that it could work.
And all this had made me feel so unmotivated lately. I can't do anything...I can't write. I haven't done coursework in a while because I'm feeling like this.
I kind of want to talk to someone about this...but at the same time I don't.
I'm tired of the internet life.
It keeps me so sheltered.
But at the same time...it's what I've become accustomed to so I don't want to lose it.
Also something else that frightens me.
I'm 20 years old; 21 in November.
I'm in the decade of my life that I've said I want to get married and have children.
I've always said I want to get married at 25, have my first child at 27 and have my second child at 29.
And because of this sheltered life I live...is that really going to happen?
I've never had a boyfriend before...but that doesn't bother me. No matter how weird people think it is and their stupid reactions when they find out.
I've always wanted to date someone I feel comfortable with and can talk to about things, but...oh wait! I only know these guys...ON-freaking-LINE!
...let's not go too into that though because that'll give things away :,)
I'm just tired of these thoughts and I want them to go away but...I have a feeling they're here to stay for a long time.
...yaaay! .....
It's pretty dumb to think that when you were younger, you'd think you'd meet someone, fall in love and get married. And that would be it, right?
But now that you're older...you know it's so much more complicated than that.
And even though I know that, I'm still so naive about loads of other things.
Like the fact I wish all my internet friends lived closer to me so I could see them as much as I want. So things wouldn't be so...complicated...
But, of course...it wouldn't be life if everything was that easy.
WHY do we as human beings strive for happiness? Why do we want to be happy when we all know that, in the end...we're going to die. Fall into a never-ending oblivion and not remember anything ;-;
Now that...that is terrifying!
And I feel like when I know that...why even bother? Why even bother to be upset over things? Why even try to make things happen? When we all know that, sooner or later...we'll just disappear...
*cough* wow...I had no idea I could write a blog this depressing.
I'm sorry if, you who is reading this, now also feels depressed.
I promise the next time I'm here, I'll be my usual happy self! ...usual...
Yea! Anyway! :3
Erm...thank you for reading, I guess. Because...this blog is poop! XD
GOOODBYESIES~!
xoxo~
Monday, 28 July 2014
Wednesday, 23 July 2014
The Wind Rises Film Review~
The Farewell Masterpiece from Hayao Miyazaki;
--SPOLIER WARNING; the plot of the film, character backgrounds and character conclusions are completely discussed--
The Wind Rises
--SPOLIER WARNING; the plot of the film, character backgrounds and character conclusions are completely discussed--
The Wind Rises is a historical drama film that was written and directed by Hayao Miyazaki.
This film is an adaptation of Hayao Miyazaki's own manga with the same name that was serialised in a magazine known as Model Graphix in 2009.
The Wind Rises is a fictional biography of Jiro Horikoshi (1903-1982) who was the designer of the Mitsubishi A5M and the Mitsubishi A6M Zero; both fighter planes that were used during World War II.
What some of you might not know is that Hayao Miyazaki's manga, The Wind Rises, was actually loosely based off of a short story written by Tatsuo Hori titled The Wind Has Risen.
Hayao Miyazaki had planned to leave The Wind Rises just as a manga and wanted, instead of making it into a film, produce a sequel to another well loved Studio Ghibli film, Ponyo On The Cliff By The Sea! Which I have to admit...I would have really loved to see.. :3
His idea for that was halted when he was approached by Producer Toshio Suzuki who convinced Hayao Miyazaki to make The Wind Rises into a feature film.
And I have to say, it was a truly incredible idea!
While a sequel to Ponyo would have been very exciting...making The Wind Rises into a film was definitely the right way to go! I can't imagine a more fantastic film being a farewell from the legendary Hayao Miyazaki.
With the production of the film briefly covered, let's take a look at the plot of the film itself.
The film begins in Japan 1918 when Jiro Horikoshi is just a young boy who dreams of becoming a fighter pilot, but because of his bad eyesight...he cannot pursue that dream.
He begins reading aviation magazines and after that, meets the famous Italian aircraft designer Giovanni Battista Caproni (AKA Caproni) who tells Jiro that building planes is much more satisfying than flying them. This then starts Jiro on his dream to becoming a aircraft designer himself.
I will say that quite a lot of this film is lived through the imagination of Jiro which is such a unique idea! The scenes involving Caproni are always in a dreamlike state; a friendship and respect through time and space.
It's soon five years later and Jiro is travelling to Tokyo so he can study engineering at University. While on the train he is travelling on, he meets a girl named Naoko who is travelling with her maid. She catches his hat when it gets blown off his head by the wind. Soon after that encounter, the Great Kanto Earthquake of 1923 strikes (which I must add is, without a doubt, one of the most incredibly animated moments in Studio Ghibli history! It lasts for mere seconds, but it's such a powerful scene! I was watching in sheer astonishment!) and Naoko's maid hurts her leg. Jiro assists them and manages to return them both safely to Naoko's home, but he leaves without telling any of them his name.
After that, Jiro begins work at the the aircraft manufacturer Mitsubishi and is placed in the fighter design team where he begins working on his first assignment. Later on, he is sent to Germany with other men from Mitsubishi to carry out research on various planes and how they're built and also to obtain a production license for a Junkers (Junkers being a German aircraft manufacturer) aircraft.
While in Germany, he revisits Caproni in his dreams again where they discuss more with each other. Caproni turns to Jiro and asks him..
"Do you prefer a world with pyramids, or with no pyramids?"
Caproni states that he believes strongly in the fact that even if mankind puts planes towards ugly purposes like war, he still feels the world is better with their beauty.
Now in 1932, Jiro gets promoted to chief designer for a fighter plane. Sadly though, this ends in failure during it's flight test when it's tail broke up. Luckily the pilot testing the plane escapes the crash by using his parachute. Disappointed with the outcome of this, Jiro travels to a summer resort where he meets Naoko again (if you recall, she is the girl he met during the Great Kanto Earthquake in 1923). After spending time getting to know each other, they decide to get engaged (insert sound effect of an audience saying "Awwwwwh~"). Later, it is revealed that Naoko has the disease known as Tuberculosis and refuses to marry Jiro until she fully recovers. For those of you who might not know, Tuberculosis is a serious lung infection that, in most cases, is incurable as it can later spread to other parts of the body.
A German visitor, Hans Castorp, who was privately critical of the Nazi regime helps the romance between the two before fleeing to avoid arrest by the Japanese authorities. Later on, Naoko suffers a lung haemorrhage (acute bleeding from the lungs) which seriously worries Jiro. Now wanted in connection to Hans Castorp, Jiro hides out at his supervisors house to avoid his own arrest so he can continue working on his new project. Naoko is now at an alpine sanatorium trying to recover from her illness, but she can't bare to be so far away from Jiro. So with this, she leaves the sanatorium and when back with Jiro, they hold a traditional marriage at the home of Jiro's supervisor. Although happy for him, Jiro's sister, Kayo, warns him that his marriage will end badly as Naoko's Tuberculosis is incurable (Jiro's sister is a doctor, so that's how she knows). As the film progresses, Naoko's health starts to noticeably worsen, but her and Jiro enjoy the time they spend together.
Jiro leaves to test flight his new plane, the Mitsubishi A5M while Naoko who now senses that her death is approaching, leaves to return to the sanatorium. But before her departure, leaves letters for her friends, family and Jiro. Back at the flight test, everything goes very well and Jiro's plane turns out to be a success! But he is distracted from the success by a huge gust of wind that implies that Naoko has sadly passed away.. *cries* ;-;
World War II now upon Japan, Jiro visits Caproni in another dream and confesses how he regrets that is planes were used in the war, but Caproni kindly comforts him and explains that Jiro's dream of wanting to create beautiful aircraft was still realised. A group of Zeros fly by and all the pilots salute Jiro and then afterwards, Naoko appears before Jiro and tells him to live his life to the fullest thus ending the film.
<3
With the plot of the film now finished, I'm going to take a look at the characters that feature in the film :)
First of all, we have the main character;
Jiro Horikoshi.
"Do you prefer a world with pyramids, or with no pyramids?"
Caproni states that he believes strongly in the fact that even if mankind puts planes towards ugly purposes like war, he still feels the world is better with their beauty.
Now in 1932, Jiro gets promoted to chief designer for a fighter plane. Sadly though, this ends in failure during it's flight test when it's tail broke up. Luckily the pilot testing the plane escapes the crash by using his parachute. Disappointed with the outcome of this, Jiro travels to a summer resort where he meets Naoko again (if you recall, she is the girl he met during the Great Kanto Earthquake in 1923). After spending time getting to know each other, they decide to get engaged (insert sound effect of an audience saying "Awwwwwh~"). Later, it is revealed that Naoko has the disease known as Tuberculosis and refuses to marry Jiro until she fully recovers. For those of you who might not know, Tuberculosis is a serious lung infection that, in most cases, is incurable as it can later spread to other parts of the body.
A German visitor, Hans Castorp, who was privately critical of the Nazi regime helps the romance between the two before fleeing to avoid arrest by the Japanese authorities. Later on, Naoko suffers a lung haemorrhage (acute bleeding from the lungs) which seriously worries Jiro. Now wanted in connection to Hans Castorp, Jiro hides out at his supervisors house to avoid his own arrest so he can continue working on his new project. Naoko is now at an alpine sanatorium trying to recover from her illness, but she can't bare to be so far away from Jiro. So with this, she leaves the sanatorium and when back with Jiro, they hold a traditional marriage at the home of Jiro's supervisor. Although happy for him, Jiro's sister, Kayo, warns him that his marriage will end badly as Naoko's Tuberculosis is incurable (Jiro's sister is a doctor, so that's how she knows). As the film progresses, Naoko's health starts to noticeably worsen, but her and Jiro enjoy the time they spend together.
Jiro leaves to test flight his new plane, the Mitsubishi A5M while Naoko who now senses that her death is approaching, leaves to return to the sanatorium. But before her departure, leaves letters for her friends, family and Jiro. Back at the flight test, everything goes very well and Jiro's plane turns out to be a success! But he is distracted from the success by a huge gust of wind that implies that Naoko has sadly passed away.. *cries* ;-;
World War II now upon Japan, Jiro visits Caproni in another dream and confesses how he regrets that is planes were used in the war, but Caproni kindly comforts him and explains that Jiro's dream of wanting to create beautiful aircraft was still realised. A group of Zeros fly by and all the pilots salute Jiro and then afterwards, Naoko appears before Jiro and tells him to live his life to the fullest thus ending the film.
<3
With the plot of the film now finished, I'm going to take a look at the characters that feature in the film :)
First of all, we have the main character;
Jiro Horikoshi.
Next we have...
Giovanni Battista Caproni (Caproni).
And finally we have...
Naoko Satomi.
Wednesday, 18 June 2014
June Update~
Hello everypony!
Songs listened to while writing this blog;
-Edge of Heaven (Breathe Carolina)
-Bang It Out (Breathe Carolina)
-Emergency (Paramore)
-Gone So Long (Breathe Carolina)
-My Obsession (Breathe Carolina)
-This Is My Life (DJ Splash)
...I swear that my music player was on shuffle! x,D
It's been a while (..again!) since I've done an update blog :3 and, once again, I don't really know what I'll write about...but we'll see where this keyboard takes me!
Well, I guess one thing I can say is that...I GOT A NEW LAPTOP!
I got a Macbook Pro :3 it's pretty cool; I'm still kinda getting used to it, though /: it even has autocorrect which is SUPER annoying ._. I've never liked that.
And I also have the iMovie editing software and also this Adobe editing software for my videos and I'm reeeeally nervous about using those for the first time! >o< I hope I can use them, otherwise...my YouTube videos will be at a stand still for...well, ever! xD
How hard can it be though, right..?
Yea.
So, there's that! :3
I've also been watching a load of anime lately! Like, SO much!
I finished Air TV recently (among many others) and OMG! I haven't cried that much in aaaages! TnT; we all know KEY for making really emotional Visual Novels, but Air TV!? I was beside myself! I always thought CLANNAD and CLANNAD After Story were the most upsetting Visual Novels they created, but NO! Air TV is now number one (in my opinion) because the ending wasn't even happy! ;-; thinking about it now tears are starting to form D;
I also finished watching Hakuouki which was ALSO sad! The anime seemed to follow Hijikata's route from the game which was interesting :) Hijikata had a VERY emotional route and it stayed true in the anime, more or less.
--SPOILER ALERT--
Along the way, we also see the deaths of the other Hakuouki warriors which was just, if not more, emotional in the anime! But the anime left the ending hanging in the air and endings like that always annoy me ;-; they left it up to you to think whether or not Hijikata died or lived!
I like to think he lived...but who knows? Who knows.. ;-;
In more real updates...I've been told some frightening news!
That I may need, probably will need, an operation soon :< I am SO terrified! I honestly thought I'd never go to hospital until I had children. Pretty naive, huh? n.n"
But the weird thing is my sister is going to be having the same operation as me later this month! What we both have is gallstones. It's weird enough for teens (in her case) and young adults (in my case) to get gallstones...and for us to both have them at the same time?! It was funny seeing my doctors reaction to that :,)
So, at least I can ask her about how it all went and how much it hurt afterwards and everything...but I'm still just SO scared! Even though this is one of the most common operations and simplest ones...it doesn't lessen how scared I feel ;-;
I'm just hoping (for both of us) it'll go fine and we'll recover quickly and be back to normal in no time. The pains are pretty sucky right now, though. Although I've been alright recently...but when it hurts...it really hurts!
Anyway! Happier things! :,3
...
Actually, I think that's everything.. ^w^"
Oh yea!! Football? GO AWAY.
I'm sick of all the football talk and stuff. I can't understand why people enjoy watching overpaid meat-heads run around a muddy field kicking a ball. What?
It doesn't make sense ._.
That should be over soon, though! :,) ...I hope T_T;
Hmm...
Oh! I've also made a lot of progress on Tales of Xillia :D the new Xillia game is coming out late August and I'm determined to complete this game before then! >w<
I obviously started this game aaaaages ago! Like, when it first came out! But on my first try, I paid no attention to grinding and eventually got stuck ;-; but this time round, I'm currently at level 62 and I'm aiming to be around level 80-85 for the final boss fights which I think I'm pretty close to! owo;
So yey! :3
But for now, I think that's really all I have to say in the means of updates! :3
So I'll be signing off!
I hope you're all well and enjoying the warm weather! ...because I'm sure as hell not =n=; Sweating all the time! I hate sweating! Ew, Ew, EEEWWW!! ;n;;
Hah! Anyway!
I'll be off and thank you for reading my update!
Enjoy the rest of your week, guys! :3
BYESIES~! c:
xoxo~
Songs listened to while writing this blog;
-Edge of Heaven (Breathe Carolina)
-Bang It Out (Breathe Carolina)
-Emergency (Paramore)
-Gone So Long (Breathe Carolina)
-My Obsession (Breathe Carolina)
-This Is My Life (DJ Splash)
...I swear that my music player was on shuffle! x,D
It's been a while (..again!) since I've done an update blog :3 and, once again, I don't really know what I'll write about...but we'll see where this keyboard takes me!
Well, I guess one thing I can say is that...I GOT A NEW LAPTOP!
I got a Macbook Pro :3 it's pretty cool; I'm still kinda getting used to it, though /: it even has autocorrect which is SUPER annoying ._. I've never liked that.
And I also have the iMovie editing software and also this Adobe editing software for my videos and I'm reeeeally nervous about using those for the first time! >o< I hope I can use them, otherwise...my YouTube videos will be at a stand still for...well, ever! xD
How hard can it be though, right..?
Yea.
So, there's that! :3
I've also been watching a load of anime lately! Like, SO much!
I finished Air TV recently (among many others) and OMG! I haven't cried that much in aaaages! TnT; we all know KEY for making really emotional Visual Novels, but Air TV!? I was beside myself! I always thought CLANNAD and CLANNAD After Story were the most upsetting Visual Novels they created, but NO! Air TV is now number one (in my opinion) because the ending wasn't even happy! ;-; thinking about it now tears are starting to form D;
I also finished watching Hakuouki which was ALSO sad! The anime seemed to follow Hijikata's route from the game which was interesting :) Hijikata had a VERY emotional route and it stayed true in the anime, more or less.
--SPOILER ALERT--
Along the way, we also see the deaths of the other Hakuouki warriors which was just, if not more, emotional in the anime! But the anime left the ending hanging in the air and endings like that always annoy me ;-; they left it up to you to think whether or not Hijikata died or lived!
I like to think he lived...but who knows? Who knows.. ;-;
In more real updates...I've been told some frightening news!
That I may need, probably will need, an operation soon :< I am SO terrified! I honestly thought I'd never go to hospital until I had children. Pretty naive, huh? n.n"
But the weird thing is my sister is going to be having the same operation as me later this month! What we both have is gallstones. It's weird enough for teens (in her case) and young adults (in my case) to get gallstones...and for us to both have them at the same time?! It was funny seeing my doctors reaction to that :,)
So, at least I can ask her about how it all went and how much it hurt afterwards and everything...but I'm still just SO scared! Even though this is one of the most common operations and simplest ones...it doesn't lessen how scared I feel ;-;
I'm just hoping (for both of us) it'll go fine and we'll recover quickly and be back to normal in no time. The pains are pretty sucky right now, though. Although I've been alright recently...but when it hurts...it really hurts!
Anyway! Happier things! :,3
...
Actually, I think that's everything.. ^w^"
Oh yea!! Football? GO AWAY.
I'm sick of all the football talk and stuff. I can't understand why people enjoy watching overpaid meat-heads run around a muddy field kicking a ball. What?
It doesn't make sense ._.
That should be over soon, though! :,) ...I hope T_T;
Hmm...
Oh! I've also made a lot of progress on Tales of Xillia :D the new Xillia game is coming out late August and I'm determined to complete this game before then! >w<
I obviously started this game aaaaages ago! Like, when it first came out! But on my first try, I paid no attention to grinding and eventually got stuck ;-; but this time round, I'm currently at level 62 and I'm aiming to be around level 80-85 for the final boss fights which I think I'm pretty close to! owo;
So yey! :3
But for now, I think that's really all I have to say in the means of updates! :3
So I'll be signing off!
I hope you're all well and enjoying the warm weather! ...because I'm sure as hell not =n=; Sweating all the time! I hate sweating! Ew, Ew, EEEWWW!! ;n;;
Hah! Anyway!
I'll be off and thank you for reading my update!
Enjoy the rest of your week, guys! :3
BYESIES~! c:
xoxo~
Wednesday, 7 May 2014
The littlest things upset me! T-T
Wah! Today has felt kinda suckish :<
I've eaten through many bags of chocolate...
First of all, you guys are going to think I'm really stupid for getting upset over what I'm about to tell you and, to be honest, I feel kinda silly for letting it upset me...but it can't really be helped, right? Things upset people! That's just how life works, I guess :,)
Well.
Today, Hakuoki: Stories of the Shinsengumi was released for the PS3 and, if I'm correct, the actual game is out and people who ordered that have probably or will get it soon.
But I ordered the Limited Edition and that also was meant to come out today.
BUT...
I got an email from Amazon saying that the supplier had pushed back the release date on the Limited Edition (for some reason) and it won't be released until the 21st of this month!?
I was just SOO excited to get this game and even more excited to get the Limited Edition, but now the release date has been pushed back...I'm reeeeally upset :,)
I mean, I could order the actual game and cancel my Limited Edition order since I haven't been charged for it yet...but I just really want all the little kawaii things you get with the Limited Edition :< so...my only option is to wait!
Yea, I'm sad about that...I JUST WANTED HOT SAMURAI ON MY TV!! but I guess it can't be helped.
I'm just going to be a good girl, stop complaining...and wait.
*draws a halo above my head with the blood of fallen samurai* ...wait/wut/?!
It's just...HARD to wait for something I was expecting today and could still get tomorrow if I wasn't so desperate for the Limited Edition!! T-T
Eh. What can I do though? I want the Limited Edition, so waiting is my only option :3
*downs a bag of Milkybar GIANT buttons* ;-;
...yea. You're probably thinking how stupid I am for getting upset over this. But...I CAN'T HELP IT! ;c
I stayed in bed nearly 3 hours after my alarm went off because I just didn't feel like doing ANYTHING! There was nothing I wanted to do and I just...couldn't be bothered with it all today :,)
But that feeling also bothered me.
So. I got out of bed, grabbed some chocolate, made some popcorn, sat in my room and watched Laputa: Castle in the Sky <3
And, seriously...watching that film upped my mood by 110% :,)
Even though the ending really gets to me...not only in an emotional way, but a powerful way! ...see? The littlest things :3
I felt better after watching that film!
I then felt like I could do something, so I turned on my laptop and went to watch Hayao Miyazaki interviews on YouTube of him talking about The Wind Rises :3
I then found myself crying once again :,)
my emotions are literally kept RIGHT under the surface of everything!
I realised that when I go to the cinema on Friday to see The Wind Rises...it's going to be the last time I ever see a brand new feature film made by Hayao Miyazaki...that thought...I actually felt like I could feel my heart tear in two </3
Hayao Miyazaki is my inspiration.
I'm not being cliché when I say that. I really, really...really mean it!
I admire him so much! His passion for animation and film making has always astounded me; literally blown my mind far away! No matter how commercialised computer animation has become...he stuck to his pencil and paper to create beautiful and legendary films. He's also said some of the most amazing things and these quotes of his have buried themselves so deeply into my mind...I really have no idea what kind of person I'd be if I'd never heard of him and found his creations :3
I also admire him as a person. He has a unique perspective on life that I've never seen anyone else have. He observes things and learns things...yes, loads of people do that. But, I find that with Hayao Miyazaki, it's somewhat different. I really like it :)
I could go on and on about him (talking about him is actually making me feel better) but I'll stop now because I can never find a way to express how and why he is my inspiration. But...maybe that's what it means when you really do have an inspiration in your life; you can never really quite find the right words to say or how to phrase them without talking and talking for hours, you know? :,3
But, I'm excited for tomorrow! :D
I'm going to see Sons & Lovers and I'm reeeeeeally stoked for that!
I've been listening to their songs a lot to get me super pumped and "in-the-mood" ready for tomorrow, and one of their songs in particular has just...stuck.
This one;
Sons & Lovers - King
It's just...ah! <3 I love the lyrics! They're amaaaaazing!! This is easily my favourite song of theirs, for sure!
PLEASE just listen to it, okay? :)
Anyway! I think that's it for now :3
I feel better after talking about Hayao Miyazaki and listening to King, so this is where my blog will end! n.n
I'll write another blog soon and I'll maybe even post some pictures from when I go to see Sons & Lovers, so look forward to that! ;3 (...if I remember to take some) heheh.. //slapped
Thank yhu for reading! :3
BYESIES ~!!
xoxo~
First of all, you guys are going to think I'm really stupid for getting upset over what I'm about to tell you and, to be honest, I feel kinda silly for letting it upset me...but it can't really be helped, right? Things upset people! That's just how life works, I guess :,)
Well.
Today, Hakuoki: Stories of the Shinsengumi was released for the PS3 and, if I'm correct, the actual game is out and people who ordered that have probably or will get it soon.
But I ordered the Limited Edition and that also was meant to come out today.
BUT...
I got an email from Amazon saying that the supplier had pushed back the release date on the Limited Edition (for some reason) and it won't be released until the 21st of this month!?
I was just SOO excited to get this game and even more excited to get the Limited Edition, but now the release date has been pushed back...I'm reeeeally upset :,)
I mean, I could order the actual game and cancel my Limited Edition order since I haven't been charged for it yet...but I just really want all the little kawaii things you get with the Limited Edition :< so...my only option is to wait!
Yea, I'm sad about that...
I'm just going to be a good girl, stop complaining...and wait.
*draws a halo above my head with the blood of fallen samurai* ...wait
It's just...HARD to wait for something I was expecting today and could still get tomorrow if I wasn't so desperate for the Limited Edition!! T-T
Eh. What can I do though? I want the Limited Edition, so waiting is my only option :3
*downs a bag of Milkybar GIANT buttons* ;-;
...yea. You're probably thinking how stupid I am for getting upset over this. But...I CAN'T HELP IT! ;c
I stayed in bed nearly 3 hours after my alarm went off because I just didn't feel like doing ANYTHING! There was nothing I wanted to do and I just...couldn't be bothered with it all today :,)
But that feeling also bothered me.
So. I got out of bed, grabbed some chocolate, made some popcorn, sat in my room and watched Laputa: Castle in the Sky <3
And, seriously...watching that film upped my mood by 110% :,)
Even though the ending really gets to me...not only in an emotional way, but a powerful way! ...see? The littlest things :3
I felt better after watching that film!
I then felt like I could do something, so I turned on my laptop and went to watch Hayao Miyazaki interviews on YouTube of him talking about The Wind Rises :3
I then found myself crying once again :,)
I realised that when I go to the cinema on Friday to see The Wind Rises...it's going to be the last time I ever see a brand new feature film made by Hayao Miyazaki...that thought...I actually felt like I could feel my heart tear in two </3
Hayao Miyazaki is my inspiration.
I'm not being cliché when I say that. I really, really...really mean it!
I admire him so much! His passion for animation and film making has always astounded me; literally blown my mind far away! No matter how commercialised computer animation has become...he stuck to his pencil and paper to create beautiful and legendary films. He's also said some of the most amazing things and these quotes of his have buried themselves so deeply into my mind...I really have no idea what kind of person I'd be if I'd never heard of him and found his creations :3
I also admire him as a person. He has a unique perspective on life that I've never seen anyone else have. He observes things and learns things...yes, loads of people do that. But, I find that with Hayao Miyazaki, it's somewhat different. I really like it :)
I could go on and on about him (talking about him is actually making me feel better) but I'll stop now because I can never find a way to express how and why he is my inspiration. But...maybe that's what it means when you really do have an inspiration in your life; you can never really quite find the right words to say or how to phrase them without talking and talking for hours, you know? :,3
But, I'm excited for tomorrow! :D
I'm going to see Sons & Lovers and I'm reeeeeeally stoked for that!
I've been listening to their songs a lot to get me super pumped and "in-the-mood" ready for tomorrow, and one of their songs in particular has just...stuck.
This one;
Sons & Lovers - King
It's just...ah! <3 I love the lyrics! They're amaaaaazing!! This is easily my favourite song of theirs, for sure!
PLEASE just listen to it, okay? :)
Anyway! I think that's it for now :3
I feel better after talking about Hayao Miyazaki and listening to King, so this is where my blog will end! n.n
I'll write another blog soon and I'll maybe even post some pictures from when I go to see Sons & Lovers, so look forward to that! ;3 (...if I remember to take some) heheh.. //slapped
Thank yhu for reading! :3
BYESIES ~!!
xoxo~
Wednesday, 30 April 2014
It's that time again . . . UPDATE TIME! :3
Konnichiwa~! n.n
How are you all doing~? :3
It's been a while since I've done a proper update...thingy :,3 all I've done here lately is post fanfics...yes.
So, let's see if I can remember how to do this :F
Well. I'm doing great, thaaankyhuuu! n.n I know you probably didn't ask...but, it's an update afterall~ c:
What's been going on in my life lately..?
Not an awful lot this month, I'm afraid .w. but NEXT month ;D A LOT is happening!
...well, a lot to me...May is going to be VERY exciting! :D
On the 7th of May;
Hakuoki: Stories of the Shinsengumi is released for the PS3! I've already ordered mine (the Collector's Edition) and I'm planning on making an unboxing video for my YouTube channel! :3
I'm suuuper excited for this game because I LOVE Hakuoki: Memories of the Shinsengumi and even though these two are kinda similar, Stories comes with more CG images which is HNNNNG-some and you also get routes with characters that were none-playable in Memories ;3 so that includes Yamazaki, Sanan (..ew), Nagakura (HELLS YA' ;D) and...I don't know why I think Kondou...I might be wrong about him, but for some reason he is in my head :,)
ALSO! You get the Sweet School Life DLC which I am SO SO SO SO excited for! Like, you have NO idea! <3
On the 8th of May;
I am going to see Sons & Lovers with my best friend which I am SO suuuper stoked for <3
I first saw these guys when I went to a gig for The Naked and Famous and instantly liked them! You rarely see good opening bands these days, so I was blown away to see an AMAZING opening act, let alone GOOD! :,3
So that should be very awesome! :3
On the 9th of May;
I am going to see The Wind Rises which is the most recent Studio Ghibli film to be released in select cinemas <3 I have been waiting for this film...FOREVER! And now that it's finally being released...I'm literally crying everyday! I can't WAIT! You guys don't understand how much I'm struggling with the release date getting closer and closer :,3 heart palpitations are becoming a regular thing with me now thanks to this never ending anticipation and excitement! X,3 heuhuhh~
Then there is a bit of a break...ft. my dad's birthday on the 17th :,)
On the 24th of May;
I am going to the London MCM Comic Con. and I'm ALSO super stoked for that because I haven't been to a con. since...like, 2010? 2011? Or was it 2012? I can't actually remember...but it's been a while! :,3
I'm even more excited because I'm cosplaying this time <3 (...if everything arrives soon!) O:
If it does, then I'm cosplaying as Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service <3
I think I'm going to make a very good Kiki, yosh! ;3
On the 28th of May (..I think?);
I am going to be seeing Maleficent which has had me waiting far too long! :,)
Sleeping Beauty is one of my ALL TIME FAVOURITE Disney movies so I'm SO SO SO excited to see Maleficent. Angelina Jolie looks...PERFECT as Maleficent and I don't usually like her :,D
I don't know if it's the 28th or 30th...I've heard many days for this films release :,) but it's around that time...so yay! :D
You guys are probably thinking that isn't a busy month at all :,)
Well, for an introvert like me who prefers to go out as little as possible...it's pretty exciting~! And who knows, probably sometime in May I'll make other plans to do stuff...asdfghjkl STOKED!! x,D
I'm listening to the Another Code: R OST right now...isn't Kelly's Lullaby SO moving?! Who else cried when Matt realised she was...dead? ;-;
Enough random comments now! ^w^
I really just wanted to do a quick update, because no doubt I'll be posting another fanfic soon ;3 ...I say that because I'm working on one :F
Always writing, always writing :,)
ANYWHOOZLES! :3
Thank you for reading this blog! I hope it was somewhat enjoyable c: ~
I'll make sure to post again soon!
BYESIES~! ^u^
xoxo~
Monday, 14 April 2014
Questions About ME Tag!
So, I was thinking...
I've had this blog for a while now and some of you who read this may not follow me on other online sites, therefore don't know much about me!
I found these twenty-five questions on the internet and decided to answer them to give you all a better idea of what kind of person I am...sort of! :3
So, let's get this thing started! n.n
1. Most embarrassing moment.
I've had...many embarrassing moments, so for me to pick one now is kinda tricky :,) okay, let's see! *five minutes later* I think one of my most embarrassing moments would be when I was walking home from college one time, it had been snowing so the paths were very icy, and I slipped right over on my BUTT and my lunch box, my books...everything fell out of my bag!
Oh god...thinking about it now makes me cringe and turn bright red! >////<
2. a) Can you drive?
Nope, I can't :,) I did take driving lessons for a while...but I wasn't very good and I absolutely hated it ;n;
So I gave up! XD
2. b) Do you own a car?
I can't drive, so no!
3. Are you mature?
...HAHAHAHAHAHH!! No, definitely not! :,)
4. What year were you born?
1993 (the year of...THE ROOSTER!!)
5. Do you prefer cats or dogs?
To be honest, I really like both :3 I've grown up with cats my whole life, so I don't really know what it's like to live with a dog, but I am getting one soon! n.n
But...yea :,33 I do especially love cats...but I love dogs too! So, I'm going with both! Hah c,:
6. Describe yourself physically.
Okay, erm...I'm about average height (5" 5), I have short, dark red hair (because I recently dyed it), I'm not fat...but I'm not skinny...I have curves, that's what I'm trying to say :,)
Let's see...brown eyes, pale skin.
I think that pretty much covers everything.. n.n"
7. What would you name your first child?
Eek! I LOVE this question! <3
I already have my children's names picked out!!! >w<
OKAY, OKAY!
Well, if I had a girl first...I would name her Erika.
And if I had a boy first...I would name him Jake.
I want two children, so if I ended up with two girls, it would be Erika and Luna.
If I ended up with two boys, it would be Jake and Toby.
But a boy and a girl would definitely be Erika and Jake! ;3;
8. What is the worst injury you have ever had?
I have never really been injured that badly before...
But...I think it would be when (..god, this is embarrassing..!) I ran into a wall (SHUT UP!) and broke my arm. Yes, yes I ran into a wall and broke my arm. In fact, I squashed the bone :,) I had to wear a cast for...6 weeks, I think it was? Most awkward 6 weeks of my life because you can't even get the thing wet! Or scratch an itch under the cast. BAH!
9. What is your worst habit?
Erm...I do have a really bad habit, but I don't want to say because it's really gross :,)
...okay. For the sake of the question, I'll answer.
First, know that I mostly (sort of..) use tissues to help me out, but I still pick my nose.
*runs away forever to hide...but not before finishing the questionnaire*
10. Do you drink or smoke?
Nope and nope. Smoking is an awful habit and the smell of smoke makes me sick.
I have tried...2 very small shots of alcohol, but hated it.
I don't drink or smoke and I bet I can party harder than all of you that do! ;D
11. Do you have a tattoo?
NO BUT I WANT ONE! I WANT LOADS! ;u;
I have decided the first tattoo I want is the Paramore symbol on the side of my wrist :3 just deciding when to get it now eek! <3
I've had this blog for a while now and some of you who read this may not follow me on other online sites, therefore don't know much about me!
I found these twenty-five questions on the internet and decided to answer them to give you all a better idea of what kind of person I am...sort of! :3
So, let's get this thing started! n.n
1. Most embarrassing moment.
I've had...many embarrassing moments, so for me to pick one now is kinda tricky :,) okay, let's see! *five minutes later* I think one of my most embarrassing moments would be when I was walking home from college one time, it had been snowing so the paths were very icy, and I slipped right over on my BUTT and my lunch box, my books...everything fell out of my bag!
Oh god...thinking about it now makes me cringe and turn bright red! >////<
2. a) Can you drive?
Nope, I can't :,) I did take driving lessons for a while...but I wasn't very good and I absolutely hated it ;n;
So I gave up! XD
2. b) Do you own a car?
I can't drive, so no!
3. Are you mature?
...HAHAHAHAHAHH!! No, definitely not! :,)
4. What year were you born?
1993 (the year of...THE ROOSTER!!)
5. Do you prefer cats or dogs?
To be honest, I really like both :3 I've grown up with cats my whole life, so I don't really know what it's like to live with a dog, but I am getting one soon! n.n
But...yea :,33 I do especially love cats...but I love dogs too! So, I'm going with both! Hah c,:
6. Describe yourself physically.
Okay, erm...I'm about average height (5" 5), I have short, dark red hair (because I recently dyed it), I'm not fat...but I'm not skinny...I have curves, that's what I'm trying to say :,)
Let's see...brown eyes, pale skin.
I think that pretty much covers everything.. n.n"
7. What would you name your first child?
Eek! I LOVE this question! <3
I already have my children's names picked out!!! >w<
OKAY, OKAY!
Well, if I had a girl first...I would name her Erika.
And if I had a boy first...I would name him Jake.
I want two children, so if I ended up with two girls, it would be Erika and Luna.
If I ended up with two boys, it would be Jake and Toby.
But a boy and a girl would definitely be Erika and Jake! ;3;
8. What is the worst injury you have ever had?
I have never really been injured that badly before...
But...I think it would be when (..god, this is embarrassing..!) I ran into a wall (SHUT UP!) and broke my arm. Yes, yes I ran into a wall and broke my arm. In fact, I squashed the bone :,) I had to wear a cast for...6 weeks, I think it was? Most awkward 6 weeks of my life because you can't even get the thing wet! Or scratch an itch under the cast. BAH!
9. What is your worst habit?
Erm...I do have a really bad habit, but I don't want to say because it's really gross :,)
...okay. For the sake of the question, I'll answer.
First, know that I mostly (sort of..) use tissues to help me out, but I still pick my nose.
*runs away forever to hide...but not before finishing the questionnaire*
10. Do you drink or smoke?
Nope and nope. Smoking is an awful habit and the smell of smoke makes me sick.
I have tried...2 very small shots of alcohol, but hated it.
I don't drink or smoke and I bet I can party harder than all of you that do! ;D
11. Do you have a tattoo?
NO BUT I WANT ONE! I WANT LOADS! ;u;
I have decided the first tattoo I want is the Paramore symbol on the side of my wrist :3 just deciding when to get it now eek! <3
Monday, 24 March 2014
My life is back on track! :D
Konnichiwa minna-san!
So, how long has it been? Yep. 3 months since I last wrote a blog.
Pfft.
I really need to get back into posting more regularly, but I've made promises like that before and who knows if I'll keep them :,)
Well, this blog isn't about apologies or anything like that. If it was, then the title of this blog would be...
SORRY I WAS GONE FOR SO LONG!
or
I'M BACK!
or something else like that :p
Nope! :) this blog is about explaining a lot of recent changes in my life!
For a long time, I was always feeling down. Depressed. Unhappy with life.
I felt like I was stuck and not moving forward.
I've had a dream I wanted to start following but had no courage to make it happen, so everyday...every single day I felt upset and alone because something like this is hard to talk about with people. Especially for someone like me who feels like everyone around you is always judging you. I was afraid to tell people about my dream because I wanted to give up something pretty big to reach it and I was afraid of letting people down and having them judge me. It was really hard.
But I eventually looked at myself in the mirror and said..
"Okay. This is YOUR life. NO ONE else's. Other peoples opinions only matter if you make them matter. And they don't matter."
That was a bit of a wake up call for me, let's say.
When I came to that realisation, I finally felt I had the confidence to stop living for other people and live for myself.
I have a note section on my phone titled 'Thoughts...' and in that, I write things I could NEVER tell anybody EVER. I also wrote down loads of quotes that I live by and they really encouraged me to make the effort to live.
One quote I made up for myself was..
The past is gone.
Live for now.
Welcome the future.
I came up with that to help myself welcome change and fresh starts to life! :3
I also love quotes from Dalai Lama <3 a few of those are..
Don't give up and don't give in.
Hang on to your dreams.
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. (very important, this one!)
Make it happen.
Take control of your own destiny.
Visualise it.
Zero in on your target and go for it.
All of these quotes mean so much to me for my current situation and they are so very inspiring!
Also, a quote from Frozen, believe it or not ;3
"Turn my back and slam the door."
I've made my move. And I'm never looking back. The past is in the past as Elsa would also say ;3
Also, a quote from my most favourite person ever who is also the greatest inspiration in my life; Hayao Miyazaki.
Life is a winking light in the darkness.
All of these quotes...they just HELP me face life and to try and not be afraid of the future. There is no way to know what will happen...so YOU make what you want happen!
So, after I had my wake up call...the very big HUGE step I took was...
Quitting my job.
I know to some people, doing something like that these days where there don't seem to be enough jobs is silly...but I really don't care! :)
There are times when I think if it was the right decision and doubt what I did...then I remember my dream and I just know...that when I look back at this in the future, I will have no regrets!
I'm already feeling happier.
My dream, then?
Well...something I have enjoyed for a very long time (besides acting) is writing.
I love writing stories. I love coming up with different ideas, scenarios and characters in my head. I have a very active imagination and I want to use it :3
So, I'm working on finding some online writing courses so I can better my writing ability before I start writing stories because I have some reeeeeeally good ideas right now, but I don't want to start them until I know what I'm doing.
I have found a few already and some open university writing courses...so, yea! It's just deciding now which one I want to do!
I was very nervous and worried before all of this happened...but my mum was amazing! She was and still is very supportive of my decision and the amount of times I've asked her if she is disappointed in me is uncountable :,) but she isn't! She tells me she just wants me to be happy! And I'm very much so on my way to being!
It's all very exciting now! :) with the time I have at home, I'm starting to exercise and eat healthier which is something I've been wanting to start (..again!) for a LONG time now and I have time at home to practice my writing and do this course.
Also! Something I'm EVEN MORE excited about (which won't happen until...maybe mid-late July) is getting a dog! <3
For a long time now I have wanted a dog! A female white Toy-Poodle named Cotton! If you watch the film or have watched the film Oblivion Island: Haruka and the Magic Mirror...the little sheep toy? Yea, that's why I want to call my dog Cotton :,3
I think it sounds SUPER cute and...ah! I know having a dog will make me happy! A little friend who I'll take on walks and feed and teach tricks to and ah! It'll just be amazing! :3
I'll also have more time to make more frequent YouTube videos which I miss doing because I love making YouTube videos n.n
So, that's everything really!
I'm just happy that I'm finally living my life for ME!
It's a fresh start. A new beginning. All my old worries and responsibilities are gone.
Now I have new responsibilities and I can't wait to face them right on!
Thank you very much for reading! It feels like a big weight has been lifted putting all of this out there :3
I will try and update my blog more often so you can all see what I'm getting up to in my new life~ nyaah! n3n
Once again, thank you very much for reading and I will post again soon!
BYESIES~!
xoxo~
So, how long has it been? Yep. 3 months since I last wrote a blog.
Pfft.
I really need to get back into posting more regularly, but I've made promises like that before and who knows if I'll keep them :,)
Well, this blog isn't about apologies or anything like that. If it was, then the title of this blog would be...
SORRY I WAS GONE FOR SO LONG!
or
I'M BACK!
or something else like that :p
Nope! :) this blog is about explaining a lot of recent changes in my life!
For a long time, I was always feeling down. Depressed. Unhappy with life.
I felt like I was stuck and not moving forward.
I've had a dream I wanted to start following but had no courage to make it happen, so everyday...every single day I felt upset and alone because something like this is hard to talk about with people. Especially for someone like me who feels like everyone around you is always judging you. I was afraid to tell people about my dream because I wanted to give up something pretty big to reach it and I was afraid of letting people down and having them judge me. It was really hard.
But I eventually looked at myself in the mirror and said..
"Okay. This is YOUR life. NO ONE else's. Other peoples opinions only matter if you make them matter. And they don't matter."
That was a bit of a wake up call for me, let's say.
When I came to that realisation, I finally felt I had the confidence to stop living for other people and live for myself.
I have a note section on my phone titled 'Thoughts...' and in that, I write things I could NEVER tell anybody EVER. I also wrote down loads of quotes that I live by and they really encouraged me to make the effort to live.
One quote I made up for myself was..
The past is gone.
Live for now.
Welcome the future.
I came up with that to help myself welcome change and fresh starts to life! :3
I also love quotes from Dalai Lama <3 a few of those are..
Don't give up and don't give in.
Hang on to your dreams.
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. (very important, this one!)
Make it happen.
Take control of your own destiny.
Visualise it.
Zero in on your target and go for it.
All of these quotes mean so much to me for my current situation and they are so very inspiring!
Also, a quote from Frozen, believe it or not ;3
"Turn my back and slam the door."
I've made my move. And I'm never looking back. The past is in the past as Elsa would also say ;3
Also, a quote from my most favourite person ever who is also the greatest inspiration in my life; Hayao Miyazaki.
Life is a winking light in the darkness.
All of these quotes...they just HELP me face life and to try and not be afraid of the future. There is no way to know what will happen...so YOU make what you want happen!
So, after I had my wake up call...the very big HUGE step I took was...
Quitting my job.
I know to some people, doing something like that these days where there don't seem to be enough jobs is silly...but I really don't care! :)
There are times when I think if it was the right decision and doubt what I did...then I remember my dream and I just know...that when I look back at this in the future, I will have no regrets!
I'm already feeling happier.
My dream, then?
Well...something I have enjoyed for a very long time (besides acting) is writing.
I love writing stories. I love coming up with different ideas, scenarios and characters in my head. I have a very active imagination and I want to use it :3
So, I'm working on finding some online writing courses so I can better my writing ability before I start writing stories because I have some reeeeeeally good ideas right now, but I don't want to start them until I know what I'm doing.
I have found a few already and some open university writing courses...so, yea! It's just deciding now which one I want to do!
I was very nervous and worried before all of this happened...but my mum was amazing! She was and still is very supportive of my decision and the amount of times I've asked her if she is disappointed in me is uncountable :,) but she isn't! She tells me she just wants me to be happy! And I'm very much so on my way to being!
It's all very exciting now! :) with the time I have at home, I'm starting to exercise and eat healthier which is something I've been wanting to start (..again!) for a LONG time now and I have time at home to practice my writing and do this course.
Also! Something I'm EVEN MORE excited about (which won't happen until...maybe mid-late July) is getting a dog! <3
For a long time now I have wanted a dog! A female white Toy-Poodle named Cotton! If you watch the film or have watched the film Oblivion Island: Haruka and the Magic Mirror...the little sheep toy? Yea, that's why I want to call my dog Cotton :,3
I think it sounds SUPER cute and...ah! I know having a dog will make me happy! A little friend who I'll take on walks and feed and teach tricks to and ah! It'll just be amazing! :3
I'll also have more time to make more frequent YouTube videos which I miss doing because I love making YouTube videos n.n
So, that's everything really!
I'm just happy that I'm finally living my life for ME!
It's a fresh start. A new beginning. All my old worries and responsibilities are gone.
Now I have new responsibilities and I can't wait to face them right on!
Thank you very much for reading! It feels like a big weight has been lifted putting all of this out there :3
I will try and update my blog more often so you can all see what I'm getting up to in my new life~ nyaah! n3n
Once again, thank you very much for reading and I will post again soon!
BYESIES~!
xoxo~
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